Let’s Talk About Talk Singing Confidence…
Having complete confidence in your singing ability requires that you are able to communicate a message freely with no limitations. Without feeling like you can’t say or do something and feeling like you are secure in your ability to communicate freely.
Many people will spend an entire lifetime trying to feel confident in their ability to sing or not knowing why it is that they don’t have the confidence they strive for.
When I first work with somebody who would like to improve their confidence, i always try to figure out first and foremost, when it was that they had the confidence. Because every person, at some point their life had confidence to just say what they wanted to say and at one point it was taken away from them and thats a really important thing to get into before you even try to create something, right?
So sometimes, it can be as far back as when you were 3 or 4 years old, but at one point you had the ability to sing out freely without reservation and then at some point it stopped, right?
So, because you are not that way anymore what had happened is that somebody took it away from you. Whether you realize that or not, what was said to you is still operating.
My Story with Low Confidence: High Notes
“I know when I was in choir when I was about 12 or so, I had somebody tell me that the high notes I was singing sounded bad. And since I didn’t know what to do to make them sound good I just stopped singing high notes.
The longer that went on the more i was not able to sing those notes and the more foreign they were to me, to the point that when I went in with my mom, Naomi T. Kaye to resolve it a few years later. She had to actually show me how to sing them again.
But the key here is that i was not able to figure out and understand how to reach for the high notes anymore because i had stopped my own reach in that direction.”
Have you ever tried to push and pull back at the same time?
So, if there was something that you’ve done with your voice, that you thought sounded bad, whether you were told or, you compared yourself to another voice – what happened is that you stopped reaching in that direction and to be able to sing a high note and to able to do something that is difficult with your voice, you’re having to reach past your current ability.
The way that muscles work, is that the more effort you put into something the stronger those muscles get and the more able you are. But the more you back off of those muscles the less you use muscles, the less you reach in a direction the weaker your ability is.
So for somebody to try and sing a really high note, while they are thinking they sound bad singing high notes is a really hard thing to do.
Does that make sense?
The second thing to keep in mind is…
Confidence is not the absence of fear, but rather the idea that something else is more important than the fear you feel. And what that means is sometimes you have to fake it to make it. Sitting around and waiting to feel confident before you sing something is never going to work because that’s not how most things in life work.
Usually the first time you do something that’s foreign to you it’s really scary and the more you do that foreign thing the less scary it is because you have more certainty to yourself.
Sitting around and waiting for something to happen to make you confident before you do something is never going to happen, unfortunately. Because something very severe would have to happen and that something is you making a change.
The good thing about that is that we actually do things that we are uncomfortable doing every single day. We get up very early when we’ve gone to sleep late but we know we have to be at work or be at school. We get up and take care of our babies late at night when they’re crying, because it’s more important to you that your baby is doing okay than whether you get enough sleep, right?
There’s lots of different things that you do. Maybe you’ve gone to work the first day and you felt really uncomfortable doing it, but the money you needed to make was at the end of that first day, you know?
There’s an Answer to Your Low Confidence.
The first time you do something you’re unconfident doing, you usually find out a lot of information throughout the process. Like maybe that at the end of performing there is an amazing crowd that’s gonna applauded you. You also, get more certainty about the ability.
So this week I want to make a promise that you are going to do something you feel uncomfortable doing; on the path to becoming a better singer. Whether it’s singing in front of your husband or your wife, your kids or best friend, every single baby step you make in that direction brings you to a bigger, a better ability to have confidence in you singing and that’s how you’re gonna get there.
Until next week, I’ll talk to you soon!